Please fasten your seat belts. Our journey through the world of words takes us right into the brain. As the mastermind, it spins the threads of our behavior behind the scenes. There we observe what happens to the words after they arrive. Be prepared, because we are traveling at high speed, while a rocket is like a snail. Our brains have to sift through millions of miles in seconds. In milliseconds, it makes connections to previous impressions and experiences in similar situations, even if we have long forgotten them. However, they are still present in the deeper regions of the brain. This has surprising consequences for how we communicate.

I find much of what is written about communication to be one-sided and outdated. Mainly because the effect of words on the brain is either not considered enough or not considered at all. But this is exactly what is important if we want to better understand what we can achieve with words. Because the brain reacts differently in each person, always depending on the previous experiences that a person has collected and lived through. But our command center is also subject to laws that are the same for everyone. Knowing them increases the likelihood of being right - and not wrong - with your words to other people. Then it is easier for the lights to go on in other people's heads - it does not remain pitch black, nor does a fuse blow when we better understand the power that lies in our words and use them correctly.

Everyone knows from personal experience that miscommunication between people is often the rule rather than the exception. "You misunderstood me," the boss says to his employee, even though the latter is not hard of hearing. Or a wife may be annoyed with her husband: "I meant something else. You don't understand." Even if two people simply remain silent, misinterpretation cannot be ruled out, because silence can also be interpreted in different ways. It can be interpreted as guilt, fear, stubborn refusal, distress, oppression, or even aggression.

No wonder, then, that the literature of advice on how to communicate better grows from year to year. Has our communication become better and more effective? Clearer, simpler and with fewer misinterpretations? In some areas, perhaps. But on the whole, one gets the impression that the Babylonian confusion of language has not diminished, but rather increased. That misunderstandings are increasing instead of decreasing. Why is this so?

Different experiences, memories and evaluations of experiences are stored in every brain. They are associated with communication content in a very individual way. Therefore, no two people form the same associations to a spoken sentence. What the individual words are associated with remains largely in the dark, as this happens unconsciously. However, our own feelings triggered by a communication give us an idea of what the words have been associated with in the brain. For example, the statement "Stocks are still a good investment" will evoke different, perhaps even opposite reactions in two people. This depends on what the statement is associated with in the recipient's brain. For example, with price gains and dividend payouts, or with speculators and a stock market crash. The range of associations is almost inexhaustible and depends on a person's previous life. More precisely, it depends on the copy of his life stored in his brain.

What do witnesses testify to? That is, the said "life copy" in the memory is only fragmentarily accessible to the conscious memory. Excerpts from it are often falsely reproduced. Not intentionally, as in a conscious lie, but due to a selection mechanism in the brain.

It suppresses anything that does not fit into the overall picture we have of ourselves, someone else, or a situation. What we want to believe, on the other hand, is reinforced by this mechanism. This selection mechanism can be seen very impressively in eyewitness testimony. Let us take the example of a traffic accident. A German shepherd suddenly ran out into the road. An approaching car braked, and a second driver behind it could not avoid a collision. Two witnesses saw the accident from the same perspective. However, they may give different accounts of what happened because their memories are selectively altered. For example, a dog lover might claim, "The car in front of me was going too fast. An opponent of dogs, who feels constantly disturbed by the barking of a neighbor's dog, will probably describe the incident quite differently: "The German Shepherd suddenly ran into the street. The owner called after him, but apparently he has no control over his dog. The driver had to make an emergency stop. He had no choice.

Such different statements arise because the brain interprets the described observation against the background of its own life history. It is not much different with seemingly unambiguous content, which is perceived differently by different people because our brains suppress certain perceptual content while enhancing others.

What we hear can never be exactly what someone said and meant. Before spoken content is even consciously perceived, it is processed and modified in the deeper regions of the brain. It does not go directly from the ear to the cerebral cortex. The tone in which something is said, and the body language that accompanies it, are important clues in language processing, but they are also the source of many misinterpretations. For example, a smile can be interpreted as friendly or condescending. The tone of voice, in turn, can be perceived as instructive or (viewed positively) as inviting - regardless of how it would have been "correctly" understood from an objective point of view.

Since the effect of communication is always subjective, there is no right or wrong here. For that would assume that there is something in the subjective realm that is objectively right. The overall interpretation of content, tone, and body language always depends on a person's life history, personality, and experiences in similar or comparable situations. This can go back a long way. For example, someone who has been reprimanded many times in their childhood or later in their professional life will be very sensitive to an explanatory tone. He or she may interpret it as preachy, authoritarian, or controlling, even though that was not the interlocutor's intention. Another may be sensitive to a joking tone because classmates made fun of him when he was young and he cannot take a joke.

It's the story that matters. Some communication guides often ignore the individual history of the people talking to each other. They mistakenly assume that the other person will respond "correctly" to the "right" words - just as the author suggests. Therefore, most prescriptions for better understanding through the medium of language remain ineffective. This is because the much-vaunted relational level, which is undoubtedly particularly important in a conversation, is not determined solely by the relationship that people establish with each other through communication. Their respective life stories and biographies, their interests and personal preferences play an often underestimated role. For example, no "right" words can convince a vegetarian who no longer wants to eat meat for ethical reasons that organic beef is healthy. This may be possible for a vegetarian who avoids factory-farmed meat for health reasons.

In the following, I will focus on the main points and simplify the processing mechanisms in the brain for better understanding. The following overview should give you a quick orientation on how the brain is structured and how important its functioning is for communication.

  • Anatomically, our brain can be compared to a three-story building. On the first floor is the brain stem, which performs life functions; on the second floor is the diencephalon, which produces emotions; and on the third floor is the cerebrum, which is responsible for the logical-analytical mind. The different levels are closely connected. Like a house that is connected by a staircase and piping systems for electricity, water, etc. The cerebellum, where movement processes are coordinated, can be left out of consideration for our purposes. In connection with language, but also from its anatomical position, it is virtually the outbuilding of the other three brain regions.

  • With the exception of smell, the sensory organs do not directly transmit incoming perceptions from the outside world to the cerebrum. Before they arrive there and can be consciously registered, the diencephalon processes them. It colors them emotionally and follows a simple basic scheme, depending on their relevance to the person: good, bad, threatening, neutral. For example, in a conversation, joy, anger, or a balanced mood may result.

  • The six basic biological emotions, called "primary emotions," produced by the diencephalon are Joy and Happiness, Anger, Anger and Hate, Disgust, Sadness, Surprise, Fear and Anxiety. The latter refers to a specific threat. Each of these basic emotions has a wide range of related sensations. Joy and happiness, for example, include contentment or an intense feeling of love; anger includes mild annoyance or raging anger; surprise, as the opposite pole, includes boredom, which occurs in everyday life when the brain is not supplied with sensory stimuli or occupied with thoughts. Throughout human evolution, the primary emotions have served to ensure survival. Anger, for example, triggers aggression, which is used to fight an enemy. Fear leads to flight from an overpowering opponent. Reproduction is associated with feelings of happiness, so that as many offspring as possible are conceived and the gene flow is ensured. Disgust warns against inedible food.

  • Every mood has physical side effects. They are triggered by the body's own hormones. For example, happiness accelerates the heartbeat. Joy makes your heart race and gives you butterflies. Anger raises the blood pressure, and rage raises it to dangerous levels, so you could burst with rage.

  • The individual processes of information processing are completed by the brain in milliseconds. They take place below the threshold of consciousness and cannot be consciously influenced. This means, for example, that you cannot consciously decide what feeling you will have during a conversation. However, you can counteract it if it is a bad feeling that the brain is generating.

  • Emotions influence and control our decisions - and therefore our behavior. It is not uncommon for us to make purely emotional decisions on instinct. In these cases, the diencephalon dominates the cerebrum, which is the highest level of control and usually has veto power over decisions.

  • Only a tiny fraction of what the sensory channels perceive (by hearing, seeing, smelling, etc.) crosses the threshold of consciousness. Otherwise, a data salad would be created in the cerebrum. Nevertheless, these perceptions are stored in the brain, along with their emotional meaning (good, bad, threatening, neutral). They remain largely unconscious. Even if a behavior initially appears irrational to the analytically thinking and reasoning mind, it becomes logically comprehensible when one understands how the brain has processed past experiences. A person's behavior is never causeless, but is triggered by various brain mechanisms.

From a purely biological point of view, the human brain has one primary function: to ensure life and survival by maintaining all vital functions and adapting behavior to the situation at hand. Most of the processes required for this are controlled by the autopilot, i.e. the brain stem, below the threshold of consciousness. From a genetic point of view, the brain is also responsible for ensuring that the human species does not become extinct through reproduction.

At the time of its origin, language served these biological functions. The primordial sounds our ancestors uttered indicated either danger, a source of food, or the possibility of reproduction. Probably also to one's own state of mind in the sense of "I'm angry with you. Watch out!" or "Everything's okay. Come on, let's sit around the campfire and consume the hunted prey." Our highly differentiated language has evolved from these primal sounds. In the German-speaking world, for example, there are more than half a million different words that we can use to express or name something. However, only a tiny fraction of these are sufficient to enable us to communicate adequately.

The biological trigger for the development of language is the connecting function of language, through which we can communicate something in a differentiated and precise way and exchange information about it with other people, i.e. experiences, thoughts, ideas, a plan for the joint organization of a project and the like. The history of civilization, with all its technical achievements, is inconceivable without linguistic differentiation. Bleating primeval sounds and wildly gesticulating hands can make a cave more habitable together, or make it easier to kill a mammoth in a division of labor. To build pyramids, dwellings and cities, and to provide for their inhabitants, primal sounds are of course not sufficient for communication.

In addition to the biological functions of the brain to ensure survival, it is also a meaning-seeking organ for humans. The brain always wants to understand why something is the way it is. When it understands and accepts the meaning behind it, it rewards itself with good feelings. But it also wants to know why something should be or become different from what it is, for example, in the case of necessary changes in the company. If the brain does not understand and accept the underlying meaning, it produces resistance and stress hormones are released. In private life it is not much different. For example, you might say that you do not see why you should do this or that.

That is why all kinds of appeals to change behavior remain without success. Only by acting on the motives for a certain behavior and by talking about the motives that cause it does the chance increase that someone will say "yes" to a change (e.g., that one will get vaccinated against the Corona virus after all). Otherwise, there may be behavioral changes for the sake of "peace and quiet". But this peace is deceptive. Behavior may only be adjusted outwardly. At the same time, inner resistance grows and is discharged in various ways. In the private sphere, for example, through arguments that seem to have nothing to do with the change. In the professional sphere, for example, through a lack of commitment and service by a book.

The brain, as a sense-seeking organ, also seeks the meaning of its own existence. This function is inherent in it as a metaphysical need. In which phase of life this happens is different. The finiteness of one's own life, of which every human being is aware, is the immediate source of this search for meaning. The trigger is often a personal crisis. The result of the search for the meaning of life can lead to a religious confession, to agnosticism, to esoteric explanations of the world, and the like. Or it may lead to an atheistic profession of faith.

Without a personal belief or purpose in life, no matter what it is, no brain feels particularly comfortable. Why is that? Unlike animals, every human brain knows that one day my many functions and the many opportunities they provide for the rest of my body will be turned off. For death, humans search for an explanation that is plausible to them. When it is found, the brain is reassured. Whether this is complete or partial depends on how well the explanation is supported (from a subjective point of view). The more sustainable it is, the greater the resistance to doubts that arise. The fact that these can never be completely excluded is due to the brain itself and its functions. One of them is the ability to doubt. For example, whether a solution to a problem is really the best one, or whether there might be a better one. Healthy doubt is therefore a prerequisite for any form of progress in a society. Also for the individual human being: A person who says yes to everything would not be able to evolve.

To the untrained eye, the human brain is indistinguishable from that of a chimpanzee - our closest relative in the animal kingdom - except for its size. The chimpanzee's is much smaller, weighing only about 420 grams, while the human brain weighs between 1.3 and 1.4 kilograms. If it were unfolded and ironed flat, it would take up about half a square meter on the table. To make room for it in the cranial cavity, it had to unfold, much like a walnut. Over the past 40,000 years, since our ancestors lived in caves, our brains have not changed much. We remember: About 30,000 years ago, the last of the Neanderthals - the closest relatives of modern humans - died out in the early part of the Paleolithic. Based on the fossilized remains of a larynx, paleoanthropologists believe that they already had a primitive spoken language, perhaps similar to the bleating of a sheep.

The brain's fuel is glucose, colloquially known as dextrose, and oxygen. Both come from the bloodstream. The brain consumes between 25 and 30 percent of the body's total glucose, even though it makes up only about two percent of the body's weight. For this reason, the brain is sometimes referred to as the body's parasite. The more this organ is used, the more glucose it consumes. However, it can also optimize glucose consumption by, for example, refusing to listen to someone who is speaking in a complicated, long-winded and verbose manner. The brain's energy consumption of about 30 watts per day shows how economically it works. This is the equivalent of one light bulb. When a "light" comes on, however, the energy consumption is likely to increase.

In the following, I will present you with some interesting and worth knowing facts and figures about the mysterious brain, which are extremely exciting and hardly any of us are aware of.

  • Unlike a house with several tenants, the three levels of the brain (brainstem, diencephalon, and cerebrum) are constantly communicating with each other. The total length of all the nerve connections through which this happens is estimated to be six million kilometers. No skyscraper or building complex in the world has a network of nerves anywhere near as long. It would stretch about 150 times around the Earth. This figure is based on estimates, some of which are far apart. The one given here is the lower limit (the real one will probably be much higher).

  • Communication between the three levels, as well as from the brain to the body and vice versa, occurs through electrical and biochemical signaling. Each of the approximately one hundred billion brain cells (neurons) is connected to thousands of other neurons by synapses. The job of synapses: They amplify, attenuate, or block incoming signals. Then they pass them on. All of this happens in milliseconds. If you've ever accidentally touched a hot stove, you know how quickly the brain reacts and processes information. Even before you become aware of the pain and its cause, your hand will reflexively jerk away from the hot plate.

  • You can consciously change the state of your brain, for example, to find creative thoughts more easily: Expose it to new sensory stimuli, such as a short walk or a short break from thinking in the company cafeteria, to interrupt brooding over a problem. During such "distractions," the brain continues to work on possible solutions in the background.

  • Comparing the brain to a supercomputer is a comparison that limps on both legs. It underestimates the brain's capabilities and overestimates those of the steel bit and byte machine. Granted: A computer can do many things much faster and better than a human, such as performing arithmetic operations or creating graphics and simulation models. But as soon as an emotional level is added (and all information is emotionally evaluated into a positive, negative or neutral form at the barrier to the brain), the computer has had its day. The brain does not.

As mentioned and explained before, our brain resembles a three-story house. The brainstem is on the bottom floor. It forms the interface between the spinal cord, which runs in the spinal canal as part of the central nervous system, and the other regions of the brain. Its main function is to control all basic life-sustaining functions such as heartbeat, blood pressure, and breathing. The reproductive instincts and drives are also located there. Serious injury to this part of the brain, which is the oldest in evolutionary history, results in immediate death.

A comparison shows how sensitive the brainstem is to other regions of the brain and body: If our foot falls asleep because of an unfavorable sitting posture, the cause is a nerve whose oxygen supply is disturbed. We get up and move. The foot wakes up because of the improved blood supply. If a stroke interrupts the blood supply to the cerebrum, which is located two levels above the brainstem, speech production, for example, can be severely impaired. Depending on which region was temporarily undersupplied and how long this deficiency lasted, partial or complete recovery of impaired speech functions is possible. However, if the blood supply to the brain stem is temporarily interrupted, the entire brain goes to sleep, to use the foot analogy, and we are dead.

On the second floor of our brain is the diencephalon. Its main task is to process all the information that arrives there through the sensory channels (optical, acoustic, etc.) and make it readable for the cerebrum. This is done by the thalamus, which is made up of two pigeon-sized halves and acts as an upstream filter. It decides which information is so important for the organism that it must reach consciousness. This is why it is called the "gateway to consciousness". Only essential information is allowed to pass. All other information is suppressed so as not to create data chaos in the cerebrum.

The diencephalon also regulates the metabolism. It controls the sex drive and stimulates the immune system. It also controls attention (what is interesting, what is not?). This is also where the neurovegetative and hormonal stress responses are formed, such as the increase in blood pressure, the acceleration of the heartbeat, the increase in the respiratory rate to add more oxygen to the blood, the constriction or dilation of the blood vessels, or the inhibition of intestinal activity. In this way, the body is optimally prepared for fight or flight. Because this much is clear: When you have to fight or flee, you need energy. Digestion is not so important now. The problem is that, unlike our prehistoric ancestors, we can't use enough or any of the energy provided for fight or flight. We don't hit someone over the head with a club in an argument, and we don't sprint out of a client's or boss's office at record speed when we feel personally attacked and insulted by their words.

Like a double ring with structures extending far into the cerebrum, the limbic system lies around the thalamus. The limbic system plays a dominant role in the development of basic emotions (anger, sadness, fear, joy, hate, disgust, etc.). In terms of the effect of verbal communication, this is where the action is. It can lift our mood or send it to the basement. The central switchboard, our information outlet, is the hippocampus. There is one in each hemisphere of the brain, and it looks like a seahorse. Hence the Latin name. Anatomically, however, the two hippocampi are located in the temporal lobe of the cerebrum. In other words, on the next floor up. So is the amygdala, also known as the almond nucleus, which is involved in the emotional evaluation of a situation and the development of fear.

In language processing, the limbic system's main task is to emotionally color incoming information (word content, sound and nonverbal signals) according to their meaning for us. Only then are they passed on to the next stage, where they are heard - i.e. consciously perceived - by the cerebrum and stored along with the emotional effect. For the brain, there is no value-free communication, only a valuable one that is useful in some way, a negatively evaluated one that leads to an attack or defense reaction, and one that requires no reaction.

The emotional coloration of language processing is always accompanied by corresponding physical reactions triggered by hormones (biochemical messengers). They are consciously perceived as a feeling of well-being or even happiness, or they penetrate the consciousness as unpleasant sensations (e.g., stress). The cerebrum then interprets the cause of these feelings. In this investigation of causes, it rarely behaves as if the bad feelings are the cause. The triggers are easier to find elsewhere than within oneself.

The biological basis of all emotions are hormones. Their production is controlled in the second floor of the brain, or is carried out directly there, as is the case with endorphins, for example. These are morphines that relieve or temporarily suppress pain, especially after a serious injury. But the brain also releases them during extreme physical exertion, such as running a marathon, causing a feeling of happiness despite swollen feet - a runner's high. When euphoric emotional states occur, endorphins are partly responsible. An alternative to marathon running is intense kissing. As with many other positive experiences, this hormone is released and circulated in the body.

Humans have their own drug laboratory in the form of hormones. A reward center that becomes active when we expect something positive, such as words of appreciation for an achievement that is not taken for granted. However, such words must not be inflationary, because then their effect would be blunted and equal to zero. A concrete and comprehensible justification for an achievement, on the other hand, stimulates our drug laboratory to produce good feelings. For example, it might read as follows: "Your above-average efforts at the trade show resulted in many good customer contacts. More than I could have hoped for. Thank you, it wasn't a given that you would go above and beyond". However, this lab also produces hor-mones, which can be toxic, especially under prolonged negative stress. In terms of communication, these include constant arguments, verbal attacks, or disparaging and cynical remarks about a person that undermine his or her self-esteem.

Here are the most important hormones and their effects. 

  • When the brain produces dopamine, it makes us feel good. Like a spotlight, it directs our attention to everything that is pleasant and enjoyable. At the same time, this happiness hormone increases our motivation. Words of appreciation, for example, trigger dopamine production when they are sincerely meant.

  • When the hormone serotonin is produced, we feel balanced and inwardly satisfied. At the same time, it reduces anxiety. An example: The words of a customer who has decided to make a purchase after hesitating for some time immediately lead to the production of serotonin.

  • Oxytocin is a trust-building hormone that increases the willingness to cooperate. For example, a phrase like "Let's solve this problem together, I need your support" can trigger oxytocin production. It also strengthens the bonds of partnership. Some call it the bonding hormone. It also counteracts overproduction of the sex hormone testosterone, especially in men. This makes infidelity less likely. But oxytocin, which increases trust and bonding, is not readily available on prescription. That's the bad news for betrayed wives and husbands. But words can also be used to stimulate eroticism and thus increase fidelity. Conversely, language can be a turn-off. Then it is practically an invitation for a woman to lock horns with a man. For example, because he is linguistically insensitive or annoying as a "wimp" when he wants to know once a week: "Honey, is everything okay between us, because if not, we need to talk?" Conversely, of course, the same applies to a man: the woman's linguistic behavior may encourage him to cheat.

  • In stressful situations and under psychological stress, the hormone cortisol is released. It is the main stress hormone released into the bloodstream when, for example, someone yells at us or belittles and hurts us with words. Cortisol activates the metabolism, promotes glucose uptake, and makes us ready for fight or flight - our primordial heritage. At the same time, however, it blocks the immune system in times of constant stress, increasing the risk of infection, for example. When people are constantly at odds with each other at work or at home, cortisol production increases. Chronic excess also promotes obesity and diabetes. However, the opposite effect can also be observed due to prolonged stress: A cortisol deficiency, which has been regularly detected in burnout syndrome.

  • Epinephrine, also known as adrenaline, is another stress hormone that has a similar effect. It provides a rapid supply of energy reserves. It is produced in the adrenal medulla, but the production order comes directly from the diencephalon, where emotions also originate. When there is a challenging task to be accomplished, which we basically trust ourselves to do, positive stress arises.

Looking into the third floor of our brain, we see the walnut-shaped cerebral cortex, also known as the neocortex. It consists of six layers that lie on top of each other like an onion. This is where conscious thought processes take place, such as the detailed planning of certain plans and the control of their execution. Here is the spacious office of the CEO, who receives reports from the lower levels, can give orders and supervise their execution. But as in a real company, the boss is not always properly informed about everything in the brain. Some things are withheld, perhaps so as not to upset him unnecessarily, because they might take care of themselves anyway. His decisions may also be criticized and followed only partially or not at all.

In the brain, when faced with a situation that requires a decision, a conflict may arise between emotion and reason, between the cerebral centers and the limbic structures in the diencephalon. In such a conflict, it remains to be seen which cell associations can claim victory and ultimately prevail. But the principle applies: the winner takes it all, so the decision is either driven by reason or purely by emotion. This ends the ambivalence between reason and emotion, the back and forth between the northern and southern regions of the brain (between the cerebrum and the diencephalon) can stop. What has been decided is now carried out without paying attention to further objections from the mind or the emotions. Anything else would render a person incapable of action. One step forward and immediately one step back - where would we get to! So at some point, one of the two brain regions has to put its foot down. We are not aware of the inner processes that lead to this. Only the result becomes conscious.

The cerebrum is primarily responsible for our intellectual abilities: conscious, differentiated and analytical thinking, language production and comprehension, judgment and discrimination, weighing pros and cons, reading, writing and arithmetic - to name only the most important. The anterior frontal cortex is the seat of reason. It naturally has a say in decisions. However, it would prefer to keep the scepter in its hand at all times. Reason is also a bit compulsive, because from its highest level it can see everything from a bird's eye view - but it does not always have everything under control. For no human being acts exclusively rationally, even if pure factual logicians would like to believe so.

Often, however, reason is unceremoniously knocked off its throne by the powerful cell clusters in the diencephalon that generate our emotional world and are its biological foundation. We then act irrationally and against reason. Good intentions and inner beliefs and convictions about how to act rationally collapse like a house of cards. A situation that probably everyone knows in one way or another. There is, for example, the example of a husband's resistance to the seductive voice of a female office colleague. Thanks to sex hormones, which are often used as the only excuse. Our chemical messengers can temporarily turn off reason. For example, when a woman thinks, "Once is not enough," when she is complimented by a colleague who also remotely resembles George Clooney.

Another example of the dominance of the diencephalon over the thinking cerebrum: As enlightened human beings, we know not to raise our voices in an argument or play the offended liverwurst. It's pointless anyway. It's better to talk reasonably, to let each other talk things out in peace, preferably over a glass of red wine. When we ourselves are the protagonists, a few irritated words may suffice, and our knowledge of how to behave sensibly suddenly vanishes into thin air. The wine can then stay in the bottle. We lose control of our reactions and do exactly what we told others not to do. Is that bad? Not always, but it is human. After all, we are not behavioral automatons without feelings. For example, when our emotions get the better of us in an argument, like startled horses with their charioteer, the limbic system has wrested the scepter from reason. Reason is momentarily disconnected from the emotions and disempowered. In other words, the thumb down or thumb up is not always obeyed.

Men, in particular, tend to see the mind as their obedient servant. But even people who are considered sober, dry, and purely factual are more controlled by their emotions than they may realize. The supposedly servile reason is in fact often a willing servant of the emotional world. But because the servant does not want to admit this, he prefers to continue basking in self-deception. Sure, who wants to be a servant?

If you object vehemently here because you are convinced of the dominance of the mind in life, you are experiencing live with yourself how the feeling (the vehemence) orders the mind to object. The mind now diligently collects - and, of course, finds - arguments that supposedly speak against the dominance of emotions in people's lives. After all, it does not want to be taken for a fool by the emotional centers in the brain. Once the arguments are found, the good feeling of having been right about the contradiction sets in. This is the reward of the emotional centers, with which they trick the mind into believing that they are the real boss.

Logically, however, the rational objections here are not really understandable, because we know from brain research: Thoughts triggered by words are first emotionally colored. Only then can they cross the threshold of consciousness. So emotions always have their powerful fingers in the pie when we make decisions. Of course, the analytical mind is not always subordinate to a person's feelings. As the supreme controlling authority, it plays an important role in decision making, provided the emotions do not prematurely shut it down.

Positive and negative emotions are triggered in three ways:

  • Through perceptions of the outside world through the sense organs. They are emotionally evaluated in the diencephalon, as I have already described. In verbal communication, eye and ear work closely together. They provide the brain with data about the linguistic content, the tone in which it was uttered, and the accompanying body language. The diencephalon colors the tone (humorous, admonitory, cynical, etc.) emotionally according to its meaning. For example, if an interlocutor's statement is answered in a cynical tone, the interlocutor automatically feels angry. The same is true of gestures and facial expressions, such as a mouth contorted in contempt or a hand gesture that symbolically brushes away a suggestion, which is interpreted as a signal of dominance.

  • Through one's own thoughts, which the diencephalon colors emotionally, for example, when pondering the content of a conversation.

  • Through perceptions from within the body. For example, a restless heart can cause anxiety.

In communication, feelings and moods arise from the emotional coloring of their respective contents. The upward nerve pathways carry the colored content from the first to the second floor of the brain - where it becomes conscious. Are we more or less at the mercy of the resulting moods if they are negative? Must we be annoyed, angry, disappointed, or sad? Temporarily, yes, until the hormones that caused them dissipate.

Negative feelings can also become a constant source of anxiety if the cerebrum keeps thinking about them - reinforcing them. In this case, the downward nerve pathways carry the thoughts from the cerebrum to the diencephalon on the second level. There they are emotionalized and sent back to the cerebrum as bad feelings. This creates a vicious cycle: the thoughts create bad feelings, which create negative thoughts, and so on. For example, "Why is he saying this to me? I really don't need this. I don't need to be told that. But what should I do? He just said it. He just doesn't understand me. But why not? Doesn't he know how much it hurts me? Why not?" In such cases, it will not be possible to break the vicious circle by general positive thoughts and soothe oneself - "Everything will be all right," "Cheer up," and the like. More useful, because more effective, are four mental steps.

  1. Consciously accepting the rise of emotions that dominate or even eliminate the logical thinking mind, such as saying, "It's okay for me to be angry, sad, etc."

  2. Engage in self-awareness and ask yourself what caused this boil and tangle of emotions and what disturbed you in the conversation - and why.

  3. Send a mental message to the diencephalon to the rebellious, confused emotions that they can calm down because a solution to the problem is there and must be executed immediately.

  4. Talk to the person causing the bad feelings about how to avoid disruptions in future communications.

The two main components of the language center are located in the cerebrum. They are named after their discoverers: Wernicke's and Broca's areas. Broca's area is responsible for speech production, or speaking. It is located in the frontal lobe. Wernicke's area in the temporal lobe is responsible for language comprehension. In left-handed people, these two areas can be located in either the right or left hemisphere of the brain. They are usually found in the dominant hemisphere, i.e. the left hemisphere in right-handed people. Since language formation requires language comprehension, Wernicke's and Broca's areas work closely together. In addition, activity in both hemispheres and the areas beneath their cortex is detected during certain language tasks.

The auditory pathway ends in the cerebrum. There, the incoming signals are decoded and recognized as word meanings. Everything that has been transported there by the nerve pathways (sounds, tones, words) has already been processed on the second floor of the brain and provided with emotional markers. Unimportant things have been sorted out and important things have been reinforced. This process is due to our biological heritage: Sounds and linguistic primitives had to be immediately identified according to a simple pattern: Does it mean danger or is it harmless? Are they good or bad for me? Do they promise pleasure or trouble? Should I flee or fight, defend myself or attack?

There was no time to think about what the primal sounds might mean in an environment that was always uncertain and dangerous. The emotional coloration of the linguistic signals had to be unambiguous. They had to leave no doubt as to what was to be done in the given situation - immediately, not later. Misunderstandings in the original language would have had unpleasant, usually fatal consequences. Due to the transformation, emotional enrichment, and filter function in the diencephalon, words, sounds, and tones never reach the cerebral cortex in their original form. This is why we do not hear the chirping of a bird or the roar of a lion in their original state, but only in their meaning to us. In combination with the visual recognition of a sound source, the reaction to it is formed. Take the example of the lion: In the zoo, we are pleased when the lion interrupts its nap and roars; in the wild, its roar evokes fear.

Moreover, we could do nothing with the linguistically produced original. Words are sound waves produced by the vocal folds in the larynx, modulated in the oral, pharyngeal, and nasal cavities, and transmitted through the air. We can see the sound waves on a sonogram, which is a visual representation of acoustic events. This device is used, for example, by the CID in speech analysis of threatening calls. The brain transforms the sound waves produced by speaking (or singing) in a complicated way into word meanings that we can work with. They remain empty air only when they mean nothing to us, as in the case of a foreign language. Or when something is expressed in a very general and not very concrete way.

This is not a philosophical thought experiment, but a biological fact: We can never see what happens outside our head in its original form, but only what our brain makes of it. Each person constructs his or her own reality and lives in his or her own world. Through language we convey an approximate impression of this world to other people, so that they enter our subjective world and we can communicate with them. However, we will not be able to access some of these worlds because they are strange and bizarre to us. For example, the world that emerges in severe mental illness, which can lead to incomprehensible neologisms - such as the word "cheese imaginary mattress". Unlike creative neologisms such as "ghost driver," however, these neologisms have no discernible connection to social reality. Conversely, this means that our subjective image of reality depends on the properties of the sensory channels, some of which are completely different in animals than in humans. The world around us is real, but the way we perceive it is a mere product of the brain.

Words don't just transport information from A to B. They also leave traces in the emotional memory that can be very deep, both positive and negative. So we're not just exchanging neutral packages of words, we're also triggering feelings with words. The previous sections have increased the production of glucose in your brain as you read. That's a good thing, because it gives you the best possible understanding of the connections between language and the functions in the brain that process it. Now I'd like to show you how you can experience emotional memory live with yourself through a self-experiment. The experiment will stimulate your body's drug laboratory, give you good feelings, and refresh you mentally. It involves the interaction of several brain areas, specifically the formation of chains of associations in your brain based on auditory impressions and the sensations associated with them.

Please think of a song you heard many years ago that you particularly liked. You can also try a passage from an opera or concert if you are not very fond of light music. Choose a situation in which you were not alone and the song or passage was played. For example, in the presence of friends, your husband or wife. Now close your eyes and play the song in your mind. Hum the melody and sing the chorus softly if it is still ringing in your ears.